Grown-up Christmas List

If you think you're one of those major losers who think that Christmas is about surprises and gifts and blings, don't worry. Baby, count me in. Well, that was me 18 years ago. I can still recall every time I pray to God during my "simbang gabi" sessions with granny, I would bravely ask the Lord to make me strong. I've always defined myself as weak and feeble. Looking back, I could not thank my self more. I was thankful that even though I did not fully understand what I was asking from God, He lovingly chose to gradually provide for me that wish. At least, now I'm learning.

Being strong is not just about being able to control your tears every time they're about to flood your eyes. Being strong is also having the right disposition every time you are faced with a tough problem. I have now come to realize that it is not your immediate reaction that defines your totality as a person, rather it's the long-term effect of your actions after you have cried for every problem, after you have pondered upon the "best deemed fit" solution and after you have forgiven yourself for every shortcoming that brought you to that situation.

The year 2012 has been a tough year for me. I never imagined it to be so cruel and defining. I never thought there is such thing as crying every night for more than a month, I never thought there was such thing as betrayal right under your flat nose, and I have never imagined myself to be so strong as to withstand failures in both academic tests and life-changing circumstances.

I have heard of Mariah Carey's Grown-up Christmas list rendition for so many times, but it was only this year that I was fully able to understand its worth. My grown-up Christmas list has gotten better now, not that dear old Santa failed to grant them, but because I am still on my way to opening my heart and my mind to the reality that my Lord has provided for me all the things I need, and those that I wanted.

I'm a grown-up now. And inasmuch as I would want to be given a P10000 worth of gift check from high-end shoe stores, I'd rather give up my year's worth of savings for the people I love and for those who has made a difference in my life. Who knows I might accidentally be the instrument to grant one of the things on their list?

Merry Christmas! :)

Sao Paolo

A dream. It was a kiss. A bliss. And soon it became that first sight of the morning when the first thing that hit my mind was the thought of the storm expected to hit us that day. I jumped out of bed and took my breakfast. (My life had been like that for almost four years now.  Sleep. Eat. Study. Facebook. Eat. Sleep. Meaningless but I have been used to it.) The entire neighborhood understood and by the time I decided to go upstairs I felt the silence that enveloped our home. It was unlikely. Noise—that was one of the things I forgot to mention: Sleep. Eat. Study. Facebook. NOISE. Eat. Sleep. Up to now, I am still fascinated by the fact that the society where I grew up in gave me a miniature model of the Philippines. Just like that, and if by chance you are a Filipino, you definitely know what I mean.

It was ten in the morning when the skies lost its light, and the heavens declared thunder. Soon enough, raindrops started falling but the fear of flood was overpowered by fear of flying rooftops and wind-uprooted trees. As every second consumed every bit of our tranquility, the wind blew stronger and it was then that I realized why it was called the “super typhoon” in the first place.

It was twelve noon and we just had our lunch. I was enjoying green mango slices near the window pane when I saw my neighbors standing outside their houses (despite of the rain and strong wind) focusing their attention to the houses near the hilltop, as if mere spectators, expecting the feeble rooftops to fly away with the horrifying wind. Again, I was amazed. Very much astonished. It was beyond my limited understanding why these people could still manage to stay out of their homes even if they could do so many things to ensure their own family’s security instead of looking at some unfortunate house getting destroyed. Truly Pinoy.

The wind continued to strengthen its blows when my mom decided to take a nap and my sister grew interested at taking short peeks at the window because her childhood crush was one of the “spectators” outside. Dad blurted out his appreciation towards the strong rain and it was then that I realized I still wasn’t able to take a bath yet and it was just in the nick of time when we ran out of electrical and water supply. So there, along with my dad’s adventure-seeking thrill, I marched down the glorious aisle towards meeting this typhoon in person and I saw up-close how it managed to blow away most of the leaves of the many bamboo trees in the neighborhood.

The march was a struggle. It wasn’t easy walking while covering your eyes because together with the strong rain, the falling bamboo leaves were flying towards us, not to mention the unidentified flying particles along with them. I held my dad’s arm so tight and then suddenly, a very cold gush of wind met my face and honestly, it felt like vacuum. A few steps more and we found ourselves at the edge of our subdivision where most of the trees resided and lo! They were all blown up! I could not believe my eyes. HAHA. LOL

Due to its persistence, dad and I decided to take a pause and let the wind pass by. It came into a halt and we ended our journey on the bridge connecting our place with the other junction of the barangay. There was this water flowing beneath the bridge and dad was like saying that the water level did not change.  My curiosity was heightened so I settled near a very tall tree beside the bridge and tried to lean towards it, looking at the underneath. “No dad, it’s way above normal”, I said. As I was concluding my statement, I turned around and felt another overpowering wind but this time, it was with a strong sound, as if a voice which really caused goose bumps. The next thing I knew, the tall tree in front of me got knocked down at it actually felt like cool, but scary; shocking but overwhelming. It was then I realized how powerful the nature is. I felt how easily the life of a strong and sturdy tree can be terminated by just a wink of an eye. POOF! Just like that.

I ran towards my dad and he laughed out loud, teasing me so bad. We decided to take the walk back home but deep inside me, there was a new lesson; there was another story to tell my grandchildren, there was another experience worth sharing. And it was all and because of this storm called Pablo. :’) 

Gayuma

Raymond Abracosa. You can call him ABRA. When I first saw his music video “Gayuma”, I did not immediately get attracted with the face. What really caught my attention were the rapper’s mood and the song’s message. I didn’t even have any idea that the rapper was the guy in the music video. HAHA.

At first I thought; “hindi naman talaga sya ganon ka-gwapo.” But then, as my love for crazy antics grew and as I continually watched it climb up to the myx hit chart, napasabi ako: “gwapo….pwede. pwede na.” It was when he did the honor to guest at Vice Ganda’s evening show that I noticed his charisma. I don’t really have anything against rappers, but for me kasi, their genre seems to veer away from the world of music. Para ka na lang kasing nagsasalita ng normal. But in the case of Abra, it was different. His voice is not that peculiar but his style is one of a kind. The lyrics made sense, not just a so-so one liner. Eventually my mom also got interested and she said: “potot lang sya no? Haha!”

Yeah, well, height is an issue for me. But you know, we can always make exceptions. Well at least, for this little fella. To cut this short, I now officially have a crush on him. Gusto ko na ring gamitan siya ng GAYUMA. <3