Te amo

Just so I could show you how much I love myself. Today is a gloomy day. I really need some love. :')

Vanity overload ~ CHECK THIS OUT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKcAYeChc9s

Sweet Nothings

Well, this is just how I spent most of my lent aside from contemplating in my room (seriously) and eating while watching TV:

The "breakfast" mantra :> Yogurt  :3

Maundy Thursday

The get-up for the Easter Vigil. @.@

Good Friday

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Black Saturday

So this doesn't even look like food but believe me, it's the BEST crepe I've ever tasted so far: bacon-cheese-egg in a roll! YUM! <3

Ze uhm..world famous Magnum with almonds. :D

Easter Sunday

Woke up 2:50am to attend church mass by 4am. What a great way to start Easter! <3

I am forever grateful to God for letting things turn out as they did, and this day, which happened to be another day seeing fireworks (at dawn) is another proof that my Savior and my God is faithful and all-giving. :')

Enjoy your egg-hunt! Have a happy Easter! ^.*

Lent- What To Watch

Okay, so there are seven movies I'd suggest you should watch and reflect upon as you observe Lent. IN MY OPINION, that is.

The Passion of the Christ

You can miss the rest of my suggested movies, but not this. :')

The Bucket List

A story of celebrating life and of finding joy, wherever it may be, and however it may be found. It's not too early, nor too late. :'3

Narnia

Narnia gave me the impression of believing in the midst of defeat and anguish. It taught me to never lose hope. Oh well, the presence of Aslan in itself is uplifting. :')

In The Beginning

It's a family movie, a narrative from Adam and Eve to Moses. :D

The Kingdom of Heaven

Fight for what's worth fighting for. The blacksmith. <3

Harry Potter 7, Part 2

Just like Narnia, HP gives me the sense of perseverance in time when everything just falls apart and convinces you to giving up. The last book teaches us to hope and fight for goodness, until the end because it will always be worth it. :)

Les Miserables

“To love another person is to see the face of God.” 

― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

I wish you all a meaningful Lent! Enjoy and reflect well! ^.^ 

Review Curiosity

I “love” movies. What I usually think is that they help me drift away from reality, but what actually happens is that movies depict a fun and exciting perspective of how I ought to see life as it is. I love stories, most especially stories I can relate myself with. I am very emotional. Whenever a movie captures my heart, I cannot easily get over with it, it will take the entire night or the next day for me to move on and realize that it was “just” a movie.

It was Maundy Thursday and the family tradition during the Holy Week was to watch movies. This has been one of the many reasons why I look forward to the Lent season (HAHA). I really love seeing my mom and dad and my sister stare seriously at the TV screen, then smile and laugh and look sad altogether. :’) mem’ries. Geeeezz, not again. Okay, so this year, we spent Thursday at home, as usual, and me and my sister had the time of our lives, trying to kill each other to win the remote control. :D  I also made time to update my blog and then I skipped siesta for the time being.

In the evening, we decided to go to Church and observe the Eastern vigil (for a while, so not technically a vigil) and man, the aura was just so peaceful. There were candles, and plants and colored lights, and all else that the 21^st century can offer. I found a good place to reflect and pray. ^.^

This was kinda' how it looked like but it's way better seen actually. :)

After that, we left for home and tuned in for the television. My mom is the type of the person who’s really into Tagalog love movies (which I usually find baduy) and so we had to bear watching the replay of Sarah Geronimo and John Lloyd Cruz’s (insert title here). When mom switched channels during advertisements, I caught a scene in one movie I saw before. It was not long ago when I caught boredom watching “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” and believe me, I felt more excited watching boredom in front of me that to stick to this “hopeless-case-for-me” tagalong movie mom’s so serious about.

FINALLY, the remote control fell into the powerful and kilig-defying hands of mine! MWAHAHAHA! XD The three of them went to sleep already so I then owned the TV powers! (MWAHAHAHAHAHA!) Okay now, serious mode. As what I said, I already saw the movie, and the impression I got was that it was a sad love story, so what I was really up to that evening was to grasp some details of the movie which I did not retain or even understand, and to hope that perhaps, it may change even just a small aspect of me, as a person, capable of loving and living a good life. And it did.

I do not intend to write a narrative of the movie because trust me, it’s better seen that told.  :) Anyhow, I’ll write about the major lessons I learned and the very reasons why I finally cried hard in front of the television again since I can’t remember. Like SRSLY, even after turning off the TV and the lights, I still found myself crying to sleep, and I felt so moved that even when I woke up the next day (Good Friday), I still cried like crazy. OOHHHH, SEE?! I was deeply moved that I believe this movie deserves a movie review (sort of) in my blog. Not that Brad Pitt is undeniably handsome and gorgeous, don’t get me wrong please, but if Benjamin Button is actually a non-fictional character, I will really do my best to meet him one day, and it would be such a privilege to be able to speak to a virtuous man, with a peculiar case and a big heart. I’m afraid it was mistake to have taken the movie as a sad love story, it was way more than that. Much more than that. <3

It was a story of life, and of time, entirely. It was about failure, heartbreak, love, trying, and understanding that fact that nothing lasts forever, but some things are just never meant to be forgotten. It is a story of bearing with life patiently, a story of acceptance, of forgiveness and of starting all over. Benjamin is someone who grows backwards, and I admire him for being a good man at that, despite of how painful it was to watch everyone else die old ahead of him, while he grows younger, ALONE. I found it really cute when he was around 10 (I guess) and he had to lie when asked about the last time he had sex with a woman. He looked old, but you can feel that his heart was young, his eyes spoke much more than the words which came out from his lips. Moreover, I also admired the way he accepted Daisy, despite of her, rejecting him not just once, but many times, and loving her despite of her wild sex life with other men her age and for being patient enough to understand her during the process of her adulthood, despite the fact that he should also be understood, as someone growing older, yet younger. Complicated indeed.

All along, I thought that the worst thing that Benjamin ever did was to leave Daisy a year after giving birth to their daughter. But after watching the movie, the second time, I was convinced that it was the bravest and the hardest thing he ever did in his life. He had to leave, and, I admire him again for that.

What really made me cry like a dying pig was when their daughter Caroline, found out about the truth (she grew up loving a different man as her father) and read every postcard Benjamin has sent for her every birthday she celebrated. The words were just so piercing that even now, I’m about to cry na naman ulit. T T HAHA. :3

He told her how he wished to be the father who sent her to school in her 1^st grade, the father who could have been her crying shoulder during her teenage years whenever a boy would make her cry, he told her about….ahh, I just can’t do this. (haha, my gosh, super drama mode na jud) I’m really sorry, this is just how I get hooked with a movie. I deliberately and emotionally get HOOKED. So let me just quote the beautiful lines in the movie:

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” 
― Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button screenplay

“You can be as mad as a mad dog at the way things went, you can curse the fates, but when it comes to the end, you have to let go.” 
― Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button screenplay

“Life can only be understood looking backward.  It must be lived forward.” 

“It’s not about how well you play.  It’s how you feel about what you’re playing.”

“Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.” 
― Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button screenplay

"And I think, right there and then, she realized none of us is perfect forever."

"Some people, were born to sit by a river. Some get struck by lightning. Some have an ear for music. Some are artists. Some swim. Some know buttons. Some know Shakespeare. Some are mothers. And some people, dance."

And the sweetest way they say this is at night, when they are worlds apart:

Benjamin Button: Goodnight Daisy.  

Daisy: Goodnight Benjamin.

You better watch the movies guys, if you haven't yet. I’m getting the feeling that I'm spoiling it badly. ^.*

No wonder the film won numerous awards internationally. No wonder it made me cry dearly. No wonder, that by now, I am very much enthused to share it with you. And I will not ever wonder, why someday and somehow, you will also feel uplifted and inspired by the movie. Don’t just keep breathing. Keep on living. And don’t just live. Live well.

Let me share to you one of the most profound lines in the movie, spoken by an old man who was hit by lightning seven times (HAHAHAHAHA!) but never felt disheartened and I quote;

“The truth is, despite of everything, God keeps on reminding me that I'm lucky to be alive, and that is what’s important.” <3

Making it Up

I haven't been completely honest to you my dear blog, so I made it a point to have this entry so you'd not feel bad. NAKS. <3

Well, for the record, this will be the first entry with super few words and a whole lot of photos. Perhaps they'll do to compensate for the details I can no longer write. You know, I have this memory problem (which I have to deal with so it won't get in the way with my review). :'( Any how, let's get going:

STRESSPOINT

I'd be showing you pictures of how glorious I was before, like yea. How stressed I was (take note of the eye bags) but how beautifully I smile as well. HAHA. As I told you, my course is a great challenge so here goes the stressful moments:

Perhaps this was the morning after a harsh Friday or a Sunday morning before a heavy Monday. Galit-sa-mundo look. Wai ligo. Sabog face. K. >.<

Okay, so this one looks better. Only that I look like a total swell. Geeeezz.

Before I forget, I'm the type who goes for a snapshot every now and then when the topic I'm delving myself into gets a little bit hard or worse, boring. CHEESE! :D

My favorite snack and the thickest eye bags I ever had in the history of my college life. :3

So this was what I really loved about the Midterm exams during my last semester in college because my hair was perfect like MAGIC! And I was less stressed. Dunno why. LOL XD

Okay, so this one's during the finals week. The mini pimples in the forehead just showed up like aloha! I can't blame myself. The heat was on and my heart and mind was like: I HAVE TO GUARANTEE MYSELF A SEAT ON THE GRADUATION DAY! :")

Okay. The triple proof of my damsel-in-distress look during the finals week. I had this habit of curling my hair with my pen when I solve problems in MAS ans in Audit Problems. See the poor eyes. :(

During the most excruciating day in March while I was waiting outside the faculty room for the verdict of my Government Accounting grade. I suppose you can see the stress all over my face. :P

BREAK

So here I come during weekends when I feel like having a break:

Well, during those times that I stay at home, I just chill out and eat my favorite ready-to-cook pancit canton topped with rice. Ang weird no? Nahuli yung rice! <3

I haven't been too public about this but I entertain pictorial sessions with crazy friends! This was with Katrina, Venus and Leilani at SM CDO. :*

In case you forget, I'm super into french tips, so this was one variation I did due to boredom. ^.^

One of the proofs of the tiny-sweet-nothings that my little sister does everytime I study. There are times that it's super nakakainis na talaga, but more often than not, I get to realize that I have to take breaks and jump into the kiddy side of me. :)

We're talking about breaks right? So there's always food. :D This was during my 20th birthday when dad stole a piece of my time to dine at TokyoTokyo hours before my MAS midterm exam. :)

Who dare miss vanity sessions? o.O Me? Of course not. 

This was during the 2nd day of the grand opening of Ayala's centrio Mall at the heart of CDO. I so love our family pic printed right away! (which is not available so bear with this na lang.)

I also had time to visit my tita Flery's hub and never missed to have vanity sessions with her! I like their place, it's like a movie house. Cool TV screen and sofa! <3

Taken right before my thesis defense. Quick break. ^.*

The last Christmas party that I  had as an SM scholar. I am so gonna miss these beautiful and great people! They inspired me in ways I never thought they will. :')

After the yearbook pictorial. What more can I say? I love ze hair! <3

My look for the seniors' night. :>

If you happen to wonder, what perfect present/surprise to give me in terms of food, GIGA FRENCH FIRES in cheese or barbecue from potato corner will do. Satisfaction guaranteed! :D

AFTERMATH

Glory days right after my last semester in college. <3

To start with, let the chocolatey merienda with Fr. Bobby do the talking. (oh, we had Magnum, a bit of lumpia, and an elegant pasta with this. YUM!)

And then I had this Mutya Orquia-inspired look. :*

This is me with my bestie Kyle, having a snack at breadtalk. <3

These are my officemates co-auditors doing the XU-CSG Commission on Audit year-end audit. These people were much cooler than I thought they were. Auditing is definitely NOT boring as long as you have fun and crazy people to be with! :D

With my little sister during the SBM Recognition night. (I was so under-dressed! Urgh!) >.<

My super delicious grad cake courtesy of chocolates and creams! YUM! :)

It's Percival in the house, singing his heart out (just days after his break-up). Tsk. </3

My bestie and hair-twin! <3

With my ninang Fe and my brilliant kababata Donna Marie :D

__________________________________________________

and finally, my most recent experiment during the Holy Week:

My face with honey and cinnamon. BLAST! HAHA! ;)

TOODLES! :*

Ecstatic (shortest post for the record)

Today I smiled. I yawned. I cheated. I cried. I lived. :)

Eye Baggage: It ain't heavy :')

"A smile is worth a thousand words." -Chinese Proverb

But my eye bags? They're worth restless nights thinking about what lies ahead. A part of it is studying, and honestly, most of it would be lying awake until dawn, thinking about where I went wrong and how I'm supposed to correct it one last time for this semester

I'm proud of my eye bags, though I know I am not the person who sleeps the "latest" in our batch. I know I'm not the most intelligent one, I admit I am not the most dedicated one, and to top it all, I am not the most deserving for  an acknowledgement for pleasing my parents' expectations; but one thing's for sure: I will not give up striving to be the best version of me, and whether or not this semester's result will bring me great joy or otherwise, I will make sure I will be able to give my parents a good name, my benefactor the grades worthy of their generosity, and a good future for my future kids.

For the record, that's why those thick eye bags are worth having. I love you Lord. :)

Athena: A part of me

Athena, the goddess of wisdom was the sole inspiration of my newest flash disk’s name. Having been able to own a new one after 2 years was a source of happiness for me. My old one was almost full, like 3.8mb over 4mb occupied already, so a brand new space was more than welcome you know! For a while, I was able to store academically-related documents in it and I dismissed the idea of actually using it for good. Perhaps it was because I got too attached with the old one or maybe with what’s inside the old one. Pictures. Smiles. Short stories of mine and of my friends. Childhood memories captured in a snapshot. Videos. Crazy videos. Pictures of stalked crushes. Essays out of boredom. Name it. Almost any outlet for my glory and imperfections were inside that small piece and one mistake made them all go “poof” like a bubble.

Honestly, it didn’t hit so suddenly that even right now while I am writing this for the sake of expression, I’m not feeling any pain at all. Well, for the very least, there wasn’t any air of grief. Yes, the entire metamorphosis of my vanity was in there and the act of transferring them all inside athena’s den ended it all. I tried everything I could to make sure it wasn’t really corrupted or something. I did all the possible resorts to test its existence, even pretending to print a file in an internet cafe. YES. I was that desperate. But it didn’t work. No, there was no sign of Athena. No, none at all.

Last night was one of the most remarkable nights of my life. I accepted the challenge to host an event in my organization. Well, it’s a so-so I guess. I mean, any JPIAN would have done the same if they were given the chance to do so. Anyone could have done perhaps as much as I did. But actually, apart from the idle moments onstage, the painful ankle, the act of pretending to look so energized even if you’re so otherwise, the dry lips, tired eyes, the voice issues and all sorts of things that tried to hinder me from being at my best in doing what I love to do since high school, there was one thing that kept me pushing; it was my indomitable will. I tell you, it was the 4^th year version of “hell week before midterms” and giving up on the last night was not an option. I was really thinking of the kind of accomplishment it to end the night knowing that I didn’t give up on myself. And most importantly, I knew I have to make memories. I mean, yes, I lost ATHENA, along with my photos, treasured files and soon-to-be YouTube sensation videos. I somehow lost a grip of the past..a part of me that I don’t want to let go. And that night, the 14^th of July proved me wrong. My past will always be with me. I will carry them with me wherever I go. The thing is, I should not dwell on it for the rest of my life just because it had been gorgeously doomed and glorious at the same time. I still have a future ahead of me, a beautiful morning worth waking up for. It was that instance when I saw everyone smiling, cheering, shouting like crazy, that I felt a unexplainable sensation in my heart. (naks naman) Their smiles are those that are worth the capture once more. Their laughter and screams make way for a new beginning for memories to treasure. And above all else, that night if I choose to, can be the very 1^st of my newest essays after everything else got deleted. You see, there’s hope in everything. You see, it’s just a matter of perspective. You see, people make choices form time to time- I mean, every time and it is on how we live by those choices that we determine our own paths to take. I have made a wrong decision and I can no longer do anything to undo it. However, life has its own reasons. The Jhala inside that piece of gadget might be gone for good. It might be God’s way of mitigating my vanity I guess. It might also be His guiding act to make me more rational in making decisions. But however I take it, one thing’s for sure, life goes on and the journey towards making more smiles, louder laughters, crazy videos and photo shoots, melodramatic essays and short stories has just gotten better.

I am no Athena. I am no goddess. But I am a human, capable of making people smile, laugh, cry, believe and love. I may not be able to remember every milestone that has come to pass, but each of them has already made their way to the making of a world premiere.  I may not be a wonderful sight but surely, the way I see the world is beyond the clutch of vocabulary. And that, that part of me can never be taken away from me. Ever. <3